


Thriving Versus Survival

by BrokenQuillZT



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:03:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenQuillZT/pseuds/BrokenQuillZT
Summary: Or, my version of the events following Borba's "I Will Survive" Comic (See the notes for more information)Much has changed in the few years since Nick left their shared apartment for the last time. Judy had gone from Lieutenant on to the best homicide detective in all of Zootopia. As the urgency to close her latest case grows, Bogo requests FBI assistance in the case. Some agents were set to come down to Zootopia to assist Judy in the case.So what the hell was Nick doing with a Fed?





	Thriving Versus Survival

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Will Survive / Born To Be Alive](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/454394) by Borba. 



> BrokenQuillZT is back! Kind of. Inspiration just hit me hard and I needed to get it out before it went away. I don't know how long my motivation or inspiration will stay. Only time will tell, I suppose.
> 
> As mentioned in the summary, this is meant to be a continuation of the events in Borba's comic "I Will Survive" I strongly recommend you to read the comic first if you aren't familiar with it. Just enough for the basic background
> 
> LET IT BE KNOWN that I mean absolutely NO disrespect to Borba as I write this fic. My intention in writing this is not to "one-up" Borba in any way, shape, or form. I wrote this because the way that I had envisioned the continuation going was drastically different to Borba's canon. Long story short, I kept some of Borba's fundamental ideas in mind when I came up with my own iteration of the events. Again this is in no means meant to be a "replacement" to Borba's "Born To Be Alive." Think of this more as an AU based on "I Will Survive."

It had been one year. Maybe two. She’d stopped counting.

 

That’s how long it had been since Judy had gotten pregnant. Since she’d inadvertently raised Nick’s hopes up so high only to drop them like a grand piano suspended thirty stories in the air by rotten twine. Since their differences drove Nick to leave their once shared apartment for the last time, a small knapsack over his shoulder and his keys in the bowl by the door. Since she’s called and texted him nonstop that night to beg for him to come back until the only response she got back was, “We’re sorry. The phone number you are trying to reach has been blocked by the recipient. If you think this is an error, please contact your phone company.”

She was alone. Something she hadn’t felt for a long time, but familiar territory nonetheless. After all, she didn’t exactly receive rounding support on her journey through the police academy. This, at its core, was no different. It took some time, but she gathered the pieces of her shattered heart and trudged forward.

She advanced in her career further than she ever thought possible. Achieving the rank for lieutenant was pretty much a shoe in, even if the desk in front of hers was soon emptied and refilled with another new recruit. She maintained the rank of lieutenant only for a few months before she grew of the monotonous routine she had once fallen in love with, which she quickly remedied by acing the exam to become a detective. Homicide, to be precise. Now she got more of the serious, gritty cases. Now each day was like a new challenging puzzle, a situation she prefered much more than the usual “Drive around the city until your shift’s over.” she had before. Not to mention how she felt after solving each case and watching the perpetrator be escorted to prison was a satisfaction unlike any other. And not surprisingly,  Judy’s “solved” case pile nearly rivaled her own height within her first six months, and was truly a sight to behold. 

Her latest case she was working, however, was as challenging as it was disturbing.  Four victims so far, each one found on different ends of the city. Cause of death was a single puncture wound through the chest. Tox screens revealed traces of Rohypnol in each of their bloodstreams. Lack of any sign of struggle suggested they were unconscious when killed. The victims had nearly nothing in common; they were two predator, two prey, one female, three males, a honey badger, coyote, arctic hare, and a squirrel, one lawyer, one homeless, a housewife, and a schoolteacher… The lack of connection between the victims led Judy to believe that she was dealing with possibly the most dangerous type of serial killer: One in it just for the thrill. One that kills indiscriminately, and because of that, one that’s almost impossible to predict. With the killer steadily escalating, Bogo requested FBI involvement. Some agents were set to meet her that day.

Judy sat at her desk amongst all the other detectives. The sound of rustling papers, ringing phones, and indistinct chatter melted into white noise for the rabbit. The case file sat open next to her keyboard as she reviewed it contents for the fiftieth time that day. She folded back sheet after sheet before she paused at one of the victim’s Zuber history. She had requested a Zuber the evening before she was killed, but unlike her previous rides, she never gave a rating. Raising an eyebrow, she turned to her computer, which held the camera feed for the last building Victim number four was seen alive. She watched as a simple sedan pulled up to the entrance and two mammals climb in, one practically draped over the shoulder of the other. Judy hummed to herself as she turned back to the file and scribbled the driver’s name on a post-it note. Possibly the last mammal to see her alive. It wasn’t long after that before she picked up Bogo’s voice. “A pleasure to have you aboard Agent. I’ll get you over to Detective Hopps. Now where is she...” Bogo muttered as he watched two black-tipped ears perk up amongst the rest of the desks. He turned to the mammal at his side. “ Ah. There she is. Just follow the ears.”

“Much obliged, Chief Bogo.” came a British accent at his side, a hint of amusement at Bogo’s directive as the agent made her way over to Judy’s desk.

Judy looked up to see a striped hare, only about a head or so taller than her. He sported the latest in Fed attire; Navy blue suit, red tie, badge and pistol clipped to his belt. He extended a paw. “The legendary Lieutenant Hopps.” He declared with a smile “Agent Jack Savage. FBI.”

“Oh, I prefer ‘Detective’, if it’s not too much trouble. And thank you so much for coming so quickly, Agent Savage.” Judy replied with a warm smile, returning his handshake fervently. “I look forward to working with you”

“Ah, I’m afraid I won’t be able to help right this minute. I’m needed back at Quantico as soon as possible. Of course they wait until we take off before telling me…  My partner will be the FBI liaison for the time being. We were briefed on the flight over, but share your information with him. In case of any new developments that may have arisen. Once I finish up my business back at HQ, I’ll join with you all as soon as I can.” Jack spun around and swiveled his head, squinting. “Where the hell did he run off to this time..? Ah, there he is.”

Judy stood up to look where Jack was looking. Bogo was chattering away with another mammal, this one more casually dressed. This mammal had on a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below his elbows along with a grey vest, blue jeans, and a pistol in a shoulder holster and a baton secured to his belt.

When she looked closer at the mammal’s details… Those emerald green eyes, canine features, creamy yellow underbelly with a tawny coat now speckled in flecks of gray…

When she picked up on the hauntingly familiar voice chuckling with Bogo about the more lenient dress code the FBI offered as though they were old friends.

She felt her heart sink as she watch him saunter over to her desk..

“Hey, sorry I’m late, Stripes.” the fox said with a pat on Jack’s shoulder. “Had to catch up with some of my old buddies from here. Funny how much things change in just a few years.” The fox’s gaze shifted to Judy. For a split second there was a hint of pain in his eyes, but he quickly covered up his discomfort with a smug smile, as he did so many times before.

That stupid smile…

“Always the same with you, isn’t it, Nicholas?” The hare scolded and shook his head before he gestured to Judy. “This is …”

“ _ Detective _ Hopps.” Nick finished with a smile and a nod. He emphasized “detective” in a way that expressed surprise as well as a hint of solemnity “My, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” He held out his paw for Judy to shake. Judy frowned and crossed her arms.

“You two know each other?” Jack inquired, curious.

Nick nodded. “We used to be partners. Best in the whole precinct. Practically inseparable.”

Jack shifted his gaze from Judy’s crossed arms to Nick’s dangling paw before Nick relaxed it by his side, chuckling uneasily.

“...We had a… difference of opinion… Left on a bit of a sour note...” Nick admitted in a hushed whisper to his partner, shifting his gaze toward the carpet as he placed his paws on his hips.

_ Sour didn’t even begin to describe it _

“Uh huh… This, uh…” He gestured to the air between Nick and Judy. “...won’t be a problem, will it?”

“Nah, you kidding me? With me and Carrots on this case, we’ll work past our differences and solve this thing before you land back at HQ.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me that, Agent Wilde.” Judy stated firmly, maintaining a visage of professionalism but still expressing her disdain, leading to a raised eyebrow from Jack as he looked back to Nick.

“We’ll be fine, Jackie.” Nick confirmed with a pat on the hare’s back. “Now get on out of here. Don’t want to miss your flight.”

Jack let out an uneasy nod. “If you say so. Call me if you need anything, Nicholas.”

“Safe flying, Stripes!” He called back as Jack turned and exited the precinct with a wave. Once he was out of sight, Nick spun back around to his ex partner with a smile. 

“Just like old times, eh?” Nick claimed as he swung his paws from around his back to in front of him with a clap.

“Stop that, Nick.” Judy demanded with a frown as she crossed her arms once again.

“Stop what?” Nick inquired, freezing his paws in front of him after the clap and widening his eyes slightly.

“Stop trying to be so buddy-buddy with me. Stop trying to act like that day never happened. Hell, just…” Judy shut her eyes and sighed. “...Just forget we were ever friends.”

Nick’s bright visage dropped into one of shock as his eyes widened more and his jaw fell slack. IT wasn’t that he had forgotten about that day. In fact those moments invaded his thoughts in most of his waking hours, He’d replayed that day over and over in his head. When he first saw her again, he’d hoped that if he acted optimistic that they would at least be civil with each other, but in retrospect it was foolish of him to think that Judy wouldn’t be acting like this after the way they split apart. Nick opened his mouth to try and say something, but Judy held out a police file. “We’re working together. Temporarily. That’s it. Strictly professional. Let’s just get this over with and we never have to see each other again.”

Nick shut his eyes, pursed his lips, and took a deep breath. This was certainly a version of Judy that he was unaccustomed to: Stern with just enough professionalism to disguise her resentment. This was how she wanted to play, so be it. This wasn’t the first time he was in a situation like this. Judy was no different.

Except she was.

“Fine.” He said simply before taking the police file and flipping through its contents. He had been debriefed on the way back to Zootopia, so the file held information he had mostly already known. “Suspects? Leads?”

“No suspects. Perp’s good at covering his tracks. But I got a lead.” Judy handed Nick another sheet of paper, handwritten was a name and an address. “Horace McIlroy.” Judy declared, reciting the information she had gathered. “Zuber driver, last one to see Victim Number four alive.”

“Definitely worth checking out.” Nick confirmed, turning around. “C’mon, we’ll take my car.”

“I can drive myself.” Judy insisted, gathering her sidearm from her desk drawer.

“Oh, I’m sure you can.” Nick stated. “But two cars for two mammals going to the same place? That’s hardly efficient, is it?”

“Nick…” Judy growled.

“Just get in the car, Judy.” Nick asserted. “You said it yourself. The sooner we get done here the sooner we can never see each other again.”

 

*   * *   

The busy city streets were as big an obstacle as ever, but once they got on the highway it was smooth sailing. Neither of them had said a word since they got in the sleek black SUV the FBI had issued Nick. Nick was behind the wheel, on paw gripping the top of the steering wheel with the other resting on the gear shift. Judy sat in the passenger seat, gaze directed out the window as the skyline slowly shifted behind them. Nick shot a few glances toward Judy and frowned before he cleared his throat. “So… Detective, huh?”

Judy flinched a little when Nick spoke up, but kept her eyes to the window.

“Last time we spoke you said you were just on the line for being promoted to Lieutenant. Let me guess. Regular police work got too boring? Change of scenery? Building on your career?”

Judy cringed and shot a scornful look at Nick before turning back to the window.

“Oooh, I got it with that last one, didn’t I?” Nick noted with a chuckle and a shake of his head. “You always did put your career first, you crazy workaholic…”

“Didn’t I tell you not to act all chummy with me?” Judy scowled.

“It’s two more hours to the guy’s place, even without all this traffic. You really want to do that in silence, Carr…” He stopped himself before he could finish his thought.

Judy’s head snapped to face him at the sound of the first syllable, but huffed and frowned at the windshield, arms crossed.

The metaphorical elephant in the room was suffocating.

“... I know you went through with the procedure.” Nick said solemnly.

Judy, arms still crossed, looked at Nick with a furrowed brow.

“I did a background check on you before I came here. It… popped up.” Nick mentioned. 

“Yeah. So what if I did?” Judy confirmed.

Nick’s paws visibly clenched the steering wheel and gear shift tighter as he let out a brief sigh.

“Got something you want to say?” Judy prodded.

“Are you expecting me to break down sobbing, admitting how wrong I was, begging for your forgiveness and for you to take me back?” Nick retorted. “I stood by my decision back then. I still do now.”

“Of course I don’t expect you to do anything like that.” Judy huffed. “Why would you when you never really loved me as much as you said you did?”

Nick’s grip tightened and and he shifted his focus momentarily to the rabbit in the passenger seat. That was a punch to the gut if he ever felt one. “... Excuse me?”

“Nick, we were supposed to be together through thick and thin, but you left me alone to deal with the problem you and I  _ both _ created. You weren’t there when I went into the hospital, you weren’t there by my side during or after the procedure, you weren’t there after the press got wind of the situation and harassed me nonstop, reducing my reputation to a pile of rubble…” Her voice rose steadily with each event that came to her mind. “... And of course once that happened, my parents practically disowned me, most everyone else at the station would talk shit behind my back… I worked my tail off to at least get the respect I had before in the precinct and I haven’t been back home since Christmas two years ago… And it’s all because you left.” She was nearly screaming now. “Admit it, Nick! If you had loved me a fraction as much as what you always told me, you wouldn’t have abandoned me at the one time I needed you most!”

Nick suddenly swerved the vehicle off to the side of the highway, so violently Judy flew onto the center console. He stomped on the brake and shifted it to park before turning to Judy, the corners of his mouth tugged upwards in a scowl as his eyes burned holes into the rabbit and his finger pointed directly in Judy’s face.

“Now you listen here, Carrots.” Nick growled. “First off, don’t think you can get off calling ‘it’ a problem. I don’t give a damn what science says, it was a child.  _ OUR _ child, Judy! The child  _ you _ decided to get rid of because it wasn’t convenient for you.” He pushed his claw into Judy’s chest at that last statement.

“Hey! You can’t just…!”

“LET ME FINISH!” Nick slammed his paw so hard on the center console the polymer material underneath cracked. Judy gasped and retreated to her seat as Nick’s feelings which he buried before coming back were starting to resurface.  “Was it not clear that I was more than willing to play the part of stay-at-home dad so you could keep advancing your career? If you had thrust all the kid’s responsibilities to me, so be it. If I were the one to turn in my gun and badge, I’d do it. Being a cop was your dream. It was never mine. And you shit on me for ‘leaving you with the problem we both made’ when you had  _ no  _ intention of giving me a choice in the matter. You pulled the ‘your body, your choice,’ card to overrule everything I said, and your selfishness robbed me of the opportunity for being the FATHER I NEVER HAD WHEN I WAS A KID!”

Nick was much closer to Judy now, to the point where Judy had to start leaning back to keep some distance between them. Nick’s brow furrowed further as the corners of his mouth pulled down his cheeks. The tears he had been trying so hard to keep back finally breached the corners of his eyes. His breathing grew heavier as his rage blended with his sorrow. “So yes, I left you, Judy. I walked out on what I once thought was the best thing my sorry life had yet to lose. Because if these…” He parted the fur at his left cheek to reveal three neat scarred scratches hidden under the fur. “Are any indication… your career was and is the single most important thing in your life. Not me. And certainly not the life we created together. And I wasn’t going to be there to watch you do destroy what we made.”

Nick’s speech started to falter as he took a shaky breath and let his head hang.. His paw was clenched in a fist as he leaned against the center console and let his head hang over it. He breathed hard through clenched teeth as his back pulsated as he tried to keep his sobs at bay. Judy could only watch as Nick broke down in front of her. She started to reach out to him when his head suddenly snapped back up, this time more anger than sadness.

“And seeing as how you seem to doubt my feelings for you… and since you seem to have forgotten one of the most basic elements of criminal justice, I’ll give you a little reminder.” He furiously unbuttoned the third button in his shirt and reached inside. “If you  _ ever _ take it upon yourself to make an accusation of that magnitude…” He pulled his clenched fist with a chain running through it out of his shirt. With a quick jerk, he snapped the chain and thrust it to Judy’s chest. “Make sure you have all the evidence first.”

With that, Nick relaxed his fist and relaxed back into the driver’s seat, one paw on the steering wheel with the other and the other to his chin, looking out the drivers side window, struggling to steady his breathing, trying to hide the tears flowing down his cheeks. Judy looked into her lap and gasped when she saw a necklace chain threaded through a diamond engagement ring. Slowly, she picked it up between her two fingers and examined it. The diamond glistened beautifully in the sunlight, and the size of the golden band was just enough to slip over her own digit. As she twisted it to get a closer look at the details, she read the engraving. “ _ Judy: The one who hustled my heart.” _

“Nick, is this...” Judy started before Nick snatched the ring back up and slipped it in his vest pocket.

“I...I’m..." Nick let out a dismissive sigh and shook his head, wiping his palm against his forehead. "You know what? Forget it. Forget I said anything. I shouldn’t have brought that up… I shouldn’t have… ” He buttoned his shirt back up, mentally scrambling to regain his composure and keep what little dignity he hadn’t just vomited. “This doesn’t change anything. I know it doesn’t change anything. I’m not expecting it to change anything. After all…” He conceded with a forced smile, sigh, and a shrug. “... Look at you. Top homicide detective in all of Zootopia. Bogo tells me he’s worried the crime rate might not be able to keep up with you. It's obvious you've earned back the respect of everyone in the precinct after what happened. And with me out of the picture, nothing's holding you back anymore… You have everything you ever wanted, and you... you wouldn't trade it for anything... Anything at all." Nick pursed his lips and took a breath as calmly as he could. "And I'm... I'm okay with that. You’re happy, I’m ha…” He found himself unable to finish his sentence and  he brought his fist to his mouth, clearing his throat in an attempt to disguise the tears he was holding back. “We wasted enough time.” He said in a barely disguised croak as he wiped his eyes with two fingers and cleared his throat once again. With a twist of the keys the engine roared to life again.“The sooner we finish up with this… The sooner we can get out of each other’s fur.”

Judy shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure what to feel anymore. Ever since that day, she had always subconsciously blamed Nick for every misfortune that happened to her. In a way she still did, but this time the rage she held toward him was mostly dissipated. Nonetheless, she still wasn’t sure if Nick deserved her forgiveness for leaving her. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to try to offer an olive branch to him. Did she want to be friends with him again? Would they even be able to look at each other without their past obscuring their visions of each other? It was too soon to tell, especially after all the information they had dropped on each other in the span of a few minutes. One thing she new for certain was that if they didn’t at least continue this conversation, then both of them would regret it, possibly for the rest of their lives. With this in mind, Judy spoke up. “I… I don’t want that, Nick… and I don’t think you do either.”

Nick let out a slight scoff and gripped the wheel tighter. “Yeah ...like what I wanted ever stopped you…” he muttered, barely audible before he tapped his earpiece. “Harper? Get me everything you know on a Horace McIlroy.”

**Author's Note:**

> So that was about as far as my mind went. I left a big enough door so I could make a continuation or something, but I want to get y'alls opinion on this first.
> 
> Especially concerning the consistency of the characters. That's probably my biggest area for improvement right now. Like, do their actions make sense, any sudden "changes of heart" or anything like that that seems uncharacteristic, etc.
> 
> So of course, let me know what you guys think, and if you want to see a continuation of this. Hopefully it won't end up on the pile of "Works in Progress that might not ever get done."
> 
> But If enough people want to see a part 2, I'll start brainstorming.
> 
> And a huge shout out to 1JumpV for your input and assistance in Nick's last speech!!! Making that change made all the difference!
> 
> Take care, everyone!


End file.
